Learning To Live In This Strange New World
by filledeneige
Summary: Sings To The Sky's insertion was perfect but soon she loses control of her body to its previous occupant who wants her life back. Sky learns more about humans than she thought she ever would and things about Souls she wishes she didn't know.
1. Inserted

**Disclaimer: I do not own this, no really I don't.**

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I knew the beginning would be the end, and the end would look like death through these eyes. I had been warned. No, not these eyes. My eyes. Mine. This was me now.

The language I had found myself using was odd, but it made sense. Choppy, boxy, blind, and linear, yet still it managed to find fluidity and expression.

With the truest instinct of my kind, I'd bound myself securely into the body's center of thought, twined myself inescapably into its every breath and reflex until it was no longer a seperate entity. It was me. Not the body, my body.

I felt the sedation wearing off and lucidity taking its place.

I braced myself for the onslaught of the first memory, which would really be the last memory – the last moments this body had experienced, the memory of the end.

I had been warned of what would happen now. These human emotions would be stronger, more vital than the feelings of any other species I had been. I tried to prepare myself. The memory came. And, as I'd been warned, it was not something that could ever be prepared for.

It seared with sharp color and darkest shadows mixed together. I was hiding from something frightening-the Seekers had found me!

There was the new sense, the fifth sense I'd never had, that took the particles from the air and transformed them into strange messages and pleasures and warnings in her brain – scents. They were distracting, confusing to me, but not to her memory. The memory had no time for the novelties of smell. The memory was only fear.

Fear locked her in a vise, when all she wanted to do was flee. An overwhelming despair clouded out everything else. "_No! Please god! NO!"_ Like an animal that knew it was trapped she tried to make herself as small as possible, wanting to be overlooked. Pain ripped through her abdomen and her limbs were weak and shaky.

The memory that was not mine was so frighteningly strong and clear that it sliced through my control – overwhelmed the detachment, the knowledge that this was just a memory and not me. Sucked into the hell that was the last minute of her life, I was she, and we were going to die.

I hold still and try to hear the pursuit I can feel behind me, but the pulse is so loud behind my ears it drowns everything else out. "_I'm hungry. It shouldn't matter now, but it hurts. I'm so hungry."_

The air in her nose was pleasant. Good. A good smell. For one second, that comfort pulled me free of the memory. But it was only a second, and then I was dragged in again, and my eyes filled with horrified tears.

"_I'm lost. It's over."_

They're right behind me now, loud and close. There are so many footsteps! I am alone. The Seekers are calling. The sound of their voices twists my stomach. I'm going to be sick. "It's fine, it's fine," one lies, trying to calm me, to soothe me. Her voice is disturbed by the effort of her breathing.

"Be careful!" another shouts in warning. "Don't hurt yourself," one of them pleads. A deep voice, full of concern. Concern!

Heat shoots through my veins, and a violent hatred nearly choked me. I had never felt such an emotion as this in all my lives. A high, shrill keening pierced my ears and pulsed in my head. The sound scraped through my airways. There was a weak pain in my throat. Screaming, my body explained. I'm screaming.

"Oh dear! Are you alright?" A voice above me speaks filled with concern, not a memory, this was the present.

I try to answer but I am sucked back into her memories. I am on the ground and I know the end is coming, I am afraid, but I know what I must do. The handle of the knife is warm in my hand as I move it clumsily over my wrist. I don't want to die but I can't stand the thought of a parasite walking around with _my _body after I am gone.

I felt drained when I heard the gasp above me and I knew that I had been found. I smiled a small smile, I would die, but I would die as _me._

The memories ended and I could once again hear what was going on around me.

"My job is to help this soul adapt herself to her new host without unnecessary pain or trauma. and here you are interfering with my job." The same voice from before, a female voice, but she was not talking to me, this I could sense.

"She is strong and I only have a few questions for her, that is not too much to ask. When will she awake?" A new voice this time, male my instincts told me.

"When she's ready. Leave her be. She deserves to handle the situation however she finds most comfortable. Imagine the shock of her awakening – inside a rebel host injured to the point of death, in the escape attempt! No one should have to endure such trauma in times of peace!" Her voice rose with the increase of emotion.

For the first time I opened my eyes to see this new planet I had become a part of. My Healer stood above me with another Soul that I had to guess was a Seeker, he did have questions for me.

Their faces were as alien to me as the sightless face of my last host body would be to this new body. I'd seen this kind of face in the images I had been given to prepare for this world. It was hard to tell them apart, to see the tiny variations in color and shape that was the only markers of the individual. So much the same, all of them.

Noses centered in the middle of the sphere, eyes above and mouths below, ears around the sides. A collection of senses, all but touch, concentrated in one place. Skin over bones, hair growing on the crown and in strange furry lines above the eyes. Some had more fur lower down on the jaw: those were always males. The colors ranged through the brown scale from pale cream to a deep almost-black. Aside from that, how to know one from the other?

And yet I could, know in this body telling the others apart was easy. Each face was different if you knew how to look.

The Seeker looked at me and began to speak, "Your Host tried to end her life, I assume that is what frightened you."

Even though it wasn't a question I treated it like it was. "Yes Seeker, I am alright now. What questions did you have?"

To get the information the Seeker needed, I would have to explore the violent memories that had made me scream in horror. I did not want to but I was a good Soul; I wanted to help.

I could skip past the end – it didn't overwhelm me now. In fast-forward, I hid in the dark again, wincing, trying not to feel. It was over quickly. Once I was through that barrier, it wasn't hard to float through less-alarming things and places, skimming for the information I wanted.

I saw how she'd come to the cold wilderness, driving by night in a stolen car chosen for its nondescript appearance. She'd walked through the woods in darkness, shivering beneath her coat.

She was trying to find shelter and food, but she had nearly starved to death and had become delirious attracting the attention of the Seekers.

"There is no one else," I spoke at last. "She was alone even before the invasion. There are no other humans she knows of."

The Seeker nodded and looked pleased, no more threat to peace, and made to leave the room. He paused at the door and looked at me again.

"Welcome to earth."

And with that he left.

"Well!" My Healer sounded almost annoyed by the Seeker, this was surprising; it was unusual for any Soul to even be irritated or short-tempered. My Healer must have guessed my thoughts from my face because she immediately explained. "I know they have the job of protecting us, but I wish they would be more considerate of others' feelings," she sighed then smiled at me, "I am Healer Joanne, what do wish to be called?"

I thought for a moment, I had been a bear once but that name no longer fit me now that I wasn't a bear. I thought of my name from when I was a bat, Sings to the Sky, it was better but it didn't quite fit either, but I couldn't find the body's name either so it would do for now. "Sky will be fine."

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Souls new to this planet were given temporary living quarters while they adjusted to their new lives and decided what they wanted to do. The walls and furniture of my room were all bland beige and brown colors chosen so as not to overwhelm the occupant. I had been warmed about this species' strong emotions but so far it hadn't been anything I couldn't handle. The only thing that seemed odd to me was a strange tingling on the back of my neck, as if I was being watched, and it made me uneasy. I walked to the window and closed the oatmeal colored curtains to give myself some privacy, this world was so very much and I needed to take it slowly or I could become overwhelmed as my Healer had warned.

I observed the room around me, one bed, a simple table beside it, a chest of drawers with a T.V. atop it and that was it. There was a bathroom right by the door that led into the hall. The bathroom, like the bedroom, was simple and bland. The room was tiled white with a green shower curtain and rug, there was a large mirror above the sink that I looked into as I came in. I was getting used to my new reflection, getting comfortable with it and learning its nuances. My body wasn't very tall, barely 5'4", but my body was definitely an adult with all the curves to prove it. The Healers had done a good job with her, repairing the damage malnutrition had wrought while she was hiding. Her skin was a pale creamy color dotted everywhere with freckles, her hair was just a shade darker than blood and it fell, think and curly to her elbows, her lips were full and soft and her nose turned up at the end making her look younger than her eighteen years.

It happened without warning, one moment I was studying my reflection, learning its nuances and the next I was on the floor struggling for control of my body.

**NOT YOUR BODY!**

It was such an angry voice, filled with such hatred that it took me a moment to realize the larger problem. The voice was mine but not at the same time, my body was talking to me as she tried to regain control. I was deeply afraid, this was wrong, only I was supposed to be here.

**I disagree _parasite._**

I was once again shocked my her hatred causing my to lose concentration. And in that moment She took control.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

**Author's note: I felt the muse strike for the fist time in a long time and I had no choice but to oblige her. This is my first Host fanfic but I hope you don't hate it. Feedback is appreciated.**


	2. Fights

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Host.**

I was frozen, stunned. There should have been no one here but me. And yet she was so strong and so aware. She had stayed hidden and then taken control of the body after I had been inserted, this was wrong, this wasn't supposed to happen. We enter a host body and their consciousness goes away.

**Guess it didn't work properly did it?**

The voice I could hear was malicious and spiteful, glad that I was scared. She hated me, she hated everything about Souls and now she was back and I couldn't get rid of her, I couldn't even feel for my own attachments to shed through her brain. But even if I could feel them could I kill myself?

**Shred through my brain? How violent.** She thought sardonically. **I thought you all hated getting your hands dirty. You gave murder a comfortable easy euphemism and considered yourselves superior.**

Thats not what we did!

**That's exactly what you did. Now shut up so I can think.**

It was only when I stopped panicking that I realized that my host was scared too, her fear was completely separate from mine but for essentially the same reason: she was in a situation she had never anticipated or even thought possible and now she wasn't sure what to do next.

I was relieved to see that her immediate plans didn't involve brutal bloodshed of the Souls around us but that didn't necessarily mean they were safe from her. She had killed our kind before and had no problems with the idea of doing it again. I was scared of the damage she might do to my unsuspecting family. They wouldn't know to fear her because what she was should have been impossible.

**My dear god! Do you ever shut up? No, I'm not going on some killing rampage because I don't **_**need**_ **to. Don't you understand what having you in my neck means? I will never go hungry again, I will ever have to hide, and I will never have to fear for my life so long as I can make the rest of your kind think I really am a Soul.**

You are going to pretend to be me?

**Duh.**

Why?

**Because, while I might hate you all for the mass extermination of all human life on this planet you have made a comfortable world I can now be a part of, and I have every intention of taking advantage of it. Now if you don't mind I would like a little peace while I take a shower.**

She took off her clothes and stepped into the shower turning the knobs so that the water nearly scalded her skin. She simply stood underneath the spray of water relishing the feel of it; showers had been an unheard of luxury for many years. The shampoo smelled of mint and it tingled her scalp, as much as she disliked how things had turned out she was trying to enjoy herself.

It was odd, I experienced everything that she did and I could hear her thoughts as if she were speaking aloud, but I had no idea why she thought certain things or felt a certain way. I could not see her memories or even her name and yet I knew she was telling the truth, she didn't want to hurt any Souls even if it was only because she didn't want to attract any attention. She wouldn't hurt them but she still held ill will towards my family, and she still kept her secrets. All of this was making me very nervous.

**Don't worry about it.** She thought in a tired way, I was a necessary evil in her mind, something she had to live with to get what she wanted, that didn't mean she enjoyed my company or my thoughts.

She stepped out of the shower wrapped herself in a soft fluffy towel and stood in front of the mirror and started pulling a comb through her tangles. When she was done she stood still and inspected her reflection much as I had earlier. She was pleased with how she looked until she turned her head and her eyes reflected the light. She flinched.

**Do you have any idea how many nightmares I've had about ending up like this, well not like this, but with one of you parasites reanimating my corpse. It was my worst fear and it sort of startled me seeing **_**those**_ **eyes in my face.**

And I could understand, as she had spoken a few memories trickled down and I could feel her disgust with her new eyes.

She left the bathroom and found a few sets of clothes in the chest of drawers I had taken stock of earlier. She found some under clothes and slipped a white t-shirt on over her head and then sat down on the bed to watch the television. Thirteen minutes later she turned it off.

**You all have the most mind numbingly dull idea of entertainment I have ever seen in my entire life! This must be what it was like in Stepford; everything is perfect and polite on the surface but you all don't talk about the ugly truth of what you are.**

Now I was getting angry, I had never been angry before and it was almost too much to handle but I managed to convey my thoughts. Better than Humans at any rate, at least we don't torture and take advantage of those we are meant to care for! I thought of the horror stories I had heard of this planet, sexual exploitation of children was a common occurrence and mass killings were barely in the news before people had moved on to the next tragedy. Violence death and bloodshed had a well worn place in the human world.

**Those were the exceptions, not the norm! **Her voice was now angry, defensive.

Can you see how we thought we might be able to do better, though? How we could have supposed that maybe you didn't deserve all the excellent things of this world?

**I'm sorry but who the **_**hell**_ **said you got to make that decision, what if we thought your planet was doing a shit job and then killed you all so we could have it, would that be fair?!**

That's completely different, I thought desperately. She snorted in disbelief. We're peaceful! Your kind is violent.

**You all **_**murder **_**people with impunity and then act like you did nothing wrong! At least we knew killing was wrong, it seems accepted amongst your kind!**

What are you talking about? Killing isn't part of our world!

_**Oh yes it is**_**. Or do you not consider the eradication of humans murder? I guess we could call it genocide, because what else would it be when billions of people are no longer in their bodies?! **With that she turned off the light, flipped onto her side and tried to fall asleep.

I had no answer to her question, partly because I couldn't think straight. Both her anger and mine was clouding out rational thought. But one thing was very clear in my mind, I had gone into that argument with moral superiority, I had come out of it wondering if my Host had a point.

The next morning she was calmer and less ready to pick a fight.

**So tell me parasite, what are we going to do today?**

Why are you asking me?

**You're the Soul, what do Souls **_**do**_**?**

We live harmoniously with all other Souls while fulfilling a role in our community. There was a pause as she waited for more.

**That's **_**it**_**?**

Yes.

**Well that should be easy enough. **There was a pause, she was nervous to say whatever she was thinking. **Sky, why am I still here?**

You have never used my name before.

**I know. You said it shouldn't be possible, but it is. How am I still here?**

You have to understand that with my kind sometimes fact is mixed with fiction so thoroughly that, though no lies are told, it is hard to remember what is actually true. When we thought of the new planet – Earth so varied and filled with such violent, destructive denizens we could barely imagine them – our horror was sometimes overshadowed by our excitement. Stories spun themselves quickly around the thrilling new subject. The wars – wars! our kind having to fight! – were first reported accurately and then embellished and fictionalized. When the stories conflicted with the official information I sought out, I naturally believed the first reports. But there was whispers about this: of human hosts so strong that the souls were forced to abandon them. Hosts whose minds could not be completely suppressed. Souls who took on the personality of the body, rather than the other way around. Stories. Wild rumors. Madness.

**And they appear to be completely true, at least in some cases. **Her tone took on a feel of melancholy and there was a brief flash of where in her mind's eye I could she a boy with the silver eyes of a soul.

Who is that?

**He's dead!**

You mean he's a soul?

**Remember what you said usually happens, the body takes on qualities of the Soul and the human is gone. Just because it looks like him doesn't make it him. My best friend is dead, and there is nothing I can do about it.**

She was unhappy and very tired in a way that had nothing to do with sleep.

**Where do you think I could get some clothes? **

**Author's note: Please leave a review because it is ambrosia for writers who do this for free.**


End file.
